I thought there wasn't any other form of abuse left to experience. I had been physically abused, verbally abused and sexually abused. But there was another form of abuse that I did not realize I was having inflicted upon me. It has been six weeks and I have been in the mist of the silent treatment. If I try to speak he close his eyes or rolls them in his head so only the whites show.He refused to speak to me as though I don't exist. The holidays were much the same he spoke to everyone but me. I didn't know what was happening, I tried to have a discussion to more of the same. I was making myself sick because I was caught up in the unknown, would he hurt me again, himself. I hate guns is it better he doesn't talk to me than pull a gun on me. So many questions and I did not have the answers. I don't sleep so well and I didn't know what to do. I searched the silent treatment online omg it is another form of abuse, it is another way for him to have control. I was shocked and relieved, that what I was feeling and experiencing was real.
I am experiencing all kinds of emotions both physical and emotional. I want to at this moment throw up as I thought I have come so far there can't be anything else he can do to me. My symptoms are real, what I am experiencing is real. I am being punished because I stepped outside of isolation and spoke to someone. He accused me of doing things sexual and otherwise. I was desperate for contact with another human being. I didn't realize the full extent of this abuse, until believe it or not I opened a face book account and realized that 35 years ago when he came into my life he made everyone exit. I have spent my life without a friend and without family.
I thought to myself ok this is real how do I handle it?
I am experiencing all kinds of emotions both physical and emotional. I want to at this moment throw up as I thought I have come so far there can't be anything else he can do to me. My symptoms are real, what I am experiencing is real. I am being punished because I stepped outside of isolation and spoke to someone. He accused me of doing things sexual and otherwise. I was desperate for contact with another human being. I didn't realize the full extent of this abuse, until believe it or not I opened a face book account and realized that 35 years ago when he came into my life he made everyone exit. I have spent my life without a friend and without family.
I thought to myself ok this is real how do I handle it?
