Heartbreak

A blogger asked if I would define heartbreak. The dictionary defines heartbreak as an overwhelming sorrow or grief. It is the shattering of a heart that finds it difficult to put the pieces back together.
I have written many times that there is no greater heartbreak then a parent living to view and feel the death of a child. We can experience many strong emotions dealing with death, those that come from meaningless violence seems to be the most difficult to deal with. The violent crime is almost become common place, as we hear on a daily basis of those killed at the hands of what appear to be the average person. That is until we begin to peel away the layers of of the outer shell to view the inner workings of being human.
The list is long we have Robert Morris University students gunned down, Illinois Univeristy, Virgina, councel meetings shopping malls and clothing stores, fast food eating places, post offices, etc. It appears unless we barricade ourselves we are all likely to know or be the next victim.
The page is not long enough to try and bring some justice to the innocent people that have been murdered.
Heartbreak, we will all experience it at one time or another and it will likely be from a loss of a loved one, in one form or another whether that be a divorce, death, break-up or illness. Such heartbreak never really heals, time may buffer it but the loss will remain with a person for as long as they live.
All we can do is pay tribute to those who have shined like a star in the night for a short period of time and have given the gift of love in one way or another. So much attention is placed on those ill minded people who are destructive to self and others, and so little given to the those who have brought beauty into the world. So each week I will place a post of one person who has brought joy into the world of those that knew them.

Heartbreak

Heartbreak.... it comes at any age. Exactly what is heartbreak, heartbreak is defined as overwhelming sorrow, grief, or disappointment.I define heartbreak as a mass of confusion that stirs the emotions to the extreme.
I find that men and women deal with heartbreak in many ways. There are the outward signs, the negative flames that fuel revenge, stalking and outward rage, to the more unnoticed signs of depression, issues of self worth and severe degrees of inner pain.
I felt hopeless many times as I watched my own son's going
through break ups in their young lives. Currently my seventeen year old is dealing with the emotions of the broken heart. He said" I am confused, I want to love her and I want to hate her." A fairly typical response to a situation that presently appears without answers.
No other relationship do we put such stress on a person as we do in a romantic relationship. We start with friendship and we build upon it only to find that can be torn down with a few simple words. Typically a break up is just that a period of time for grieving. It is ok to feel the various emotions of love and hate, as it our mind and hearts way of seeking the truth and responsibly dealing with it.
The typical response from a parent to a child who is has a break up, it that " there are plenty of fish in the sea" Unfortunately one or the other doesn't want to hear that, when they believe that they have met the companion for life. I find that young men especially have a hard time excepting the emotions that are flooding outward from the deepest parts of their soul. A healthy response is to try and understand the good and bad of a period of time in your life and like "blowing in the wind" letting go of the negative and focusing on the positive. The experience becomes a step in growth and a major lesson in understanding your own inner emotions as well as your dreams for the future. The key is to know when to let go and when to move on and more importantly how to move on. Keeping busy, maintaining a friendship basis varied individuals will bring a certain amount of healing but most of the healing will come with time.
Teenage years are one of the most complicated times in a young person's life, it is the steps into adulthood, the lessons of life, and a total over hall of the human experience that is found with emotion. There is no doubt that some of us may respond to rejection differently in adulthood then we would in our youth, but that does not make the experience any less painful.
High-school romance in this day and age cannot nearly be compared to the day and age I grew up in. The seventy's were a time of great change and awareness and sexuality had become a big part of it. In this day and age the young romance is complicated with early sexual experimentation. Thus confusing an already complicated time of extreme hormone levels and the growing period of great psychological demands. The early stage of intimacy creates another level in which
morale and social issues arise. I find that in the male perspective young men especially are concerned on how the other guys are viewing them.
Locker room conversations reveal that labeling goes on early in life, as this places an individual social grouping.
I do believe that teenagers need to socialize, but I don't believe they should become a one on one romance as they are still learning their place in the community at large and growing and changing at a extremely high speed.
To my son who is feeling all the emotion today of heartbreak, tomorrow the sun will rise and a new day will begin and you will not be free of the memories for the last two years. Someone has entered your life and has become a part of who you are. As you let go and begin to grow you will find that the pain never goes way but softens like butter on a hot day and will slowly fade as new memories will take the place of those of yesterday.

I think that young men and women are doing themself a misjustice having sex at an early age. One good friend that last a lifetime is better then one day of sex that last 5 minutes. There is time and a place for everything, a time to cry, a time to laugh, time of heartbreak, a time of healing.

Today a darkness may appear in the saddest shade of gray, but it will only morph in color as you live, love and grow as a young man and see that tomorrow will bring colors warm as the sun.

Dancing with the Angel of Darkness.....

One tear fallen for those I'll not chance to meet,
another for those I have and lost.