Sunday, March 9, 2008

I shall not run, nor escape for I am free

This is not directed at the victim but those who are likely to victimize. What initially causes one to lose ground with reality varies like everything in life many instigative factors. It is the limited thought process which cannot or will not accept the "what is". What are the solutions in controlling ones own outburst? First one must seek change, be willing to be better, expect better and fully respect those around us, it does not necessary mean we have to like everything we see but we must release ourselves from resentment and placing the ultimate label of blame.
We have heard that " Patience is a virtue" some of us instilled with more patience then others.
Most domestic abuse situations arise from the destructive pattern called anger. It is very own inner demons that impels us to release negativity upon those closest to us. What are the factors involved that hit the red button leading to violence. Each person needs to self analyze their actions, is alcohol and drugs contributing factors? or is the focusing of one's own failures that has us seeking to place blame by thus punishing and victimizing the innocent.
It has been said that we can only get help if we seek help and the first step is admitting the need for help. There needs to be no religious ties to accomplish meeting with your own spiritual goals.
By mere acceptance one can improve a situation to become fully enlighten enough to grow, heal and place and end to violence in their own world.
Acceptance of self, those around us and present situations is the key to an inner peace, how, when and why we experience anger is simply tied to our lack of acceptance.

ANGER a strong feeling of displeasure and belligerence aroused by a wrong; wrath; what wrong can be done to abuse a innocent human being? None that I know of!

My drive in writing this comes about by one too many people who point fingers, judge and ridicule the victim. Let's make it clear, no one desires to be in an abusive situation, no one deserves to be in an abusive situation. There is an old adage that I have repeated many times " treat those as you wish to be treated" I find it appalling that there are many people out there who want to put the added pressure on the victim, as if they are responsible
for another persons lack of control, alcohol issues, drug abuse. Let us remember that we are responsible for oneself and we cannot make the decisions to improve or seek help.
In a high majority of cases it is the woman and children who suffer at the hands of violence, but I am not sexist as I know clearly that anyone can become a victim of violence.

Are there things we can do with out seeking professional help? this also depends on how much you want to improve your present situation and create a peaceful atmosphere. Yes there are steps that can be taken to combat violent outburst.

First we need to Identify with what causes the outburst to occur. Let's start with 3 important and most common, personal suffering, disappointment and financial hardship. Identifying we have a problem is the first step in seeking a solution, practicing patience is the second step in that when we feel anger rise , we can choose to walk away from situation, we can cleanse our mind by inserting good thoughts, we can liberate our spirit by allowing peace to replace dysfunction. There are many coping skills that are developed to redierct anger and prevent violence from ever occuring in the first place.


I am not by brothers keeper nor I shall take responsibility for his ill will.

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