Saturday, February 23, 2008

Albert Einstein

"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - -- Albert Einstein

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Michael Tatalovich

Visnansky chose to end the life of Michael tatalovich a student at Robert Morris Unniversity, but this is not a mourning of his death but a celebration of his life. Michael could have been yours my son, he had dreams and goals much like our own youth. He has four sibilings who will remember him with love and warmth and reach out to him beyond the realm of our earthly spirit. Known by those who came in contact with him that he was bright and kind and his memories of warmth will dance in the nightly stars.
Michael did make a difference in this world, and in everyone who he had touched. His life on earth has been shortened by an untimely death but his memory lives on,rejoice and allow it to guide you in a positive manner.

I believe we need to look more at who the victims are in this cruel world. I was asked once by a woman who was fighting for a man on death row. He has rights she said, he has human rights. No one who violates the human law and chooses to kill in such violent ways has any rights they have been stripped. She said could you pull the switch on a man sitting on death row? I said your damn straight I could and I would look him in the eye while I was doing it. We need to look at the rights of honest good and hardworking citizens, the forgotten middle class who keep the wealthy rich and the poor fed.
Human rights is the reward for those abide by the law.
Tears are of those memories that will never be made,
for someone chose to end a life.


A blogger asked if I would define heartbreak. The dictionary defines heartbreak as an overwhelming sorrow or grief. It is the shattering of a heart that finds it difficult to put the pieces back together.
I have written many times that there is no greater heartbreak then a parent living to view and feel the death of a child. We can experience many strong emotions dealing with death, those that come from meaningless violence seems to be the most difficult to deal with. The violent crime is almost become common place, as we hear on a daily basis of those killed at the hands of what appear to be the average person. That is until we begin to peel away the layers of of the outer shell to view the inner workings of being human.
The list is long we have Robert Morris University students gunned down, Illinois Univeristy, Virgina, councel meetings shopping malls and clothing stores, fast food eating places, post offices, etc. It appears unless we barricade ourselves we are all likely to know or be the next victim.
The page is not long enough to try and bring some justice to the innocent people that have been murdered.
Heartbreak, we will all experience it at one time or another and it will likely be from a loss of a loved one, in one form or another whether that be a divorce, death, break-up or illness. Such heartbreak never really heals, time may buffer it but the loss will remain with a person for as long as they live.
All we can do is pay tribute to those who have shined like a star in the night for a short period of time and have given the gift of love in one way or another. So much attention is placed on those ill minded people who are destructive to self and others, and so little given to the those who have brought beauty into the world. So each week I will place a post of one person who has brought joy into the world of those that knew them.


There is no job that could be more difficult or rewarding as parenting. It is a lifelong career that does not ask for a resume of qualifications. If it did how many of us would truly get the job?

Parents playing Favorites

This recently came up in conversation, the topic of parents playing favorites. You don't have to be from a dysfunctional family to see that favoritism exists in many families. Thus the creation of sybling rivarly is born. Many parents will say they didn't favor one child over another, but the children grow up seeing it differently. Does is exist and to what to degree? Yes it does and the degree of favoritism varies.
It wasn't until my eldest sybling said to me you can do no wrong, you were always daddies favorite, the goody two shoes, that it occured to me that grown adults still rival for the parents attention. Was I favored? The answer to that is yes, I obviously saw my father in a different light then my brother and sisters did. Mostly I think we tend to take on different personalities, I remember becoming the pleaser and sometimes it is for the completely wrong reasons. I surely wasn't blind and I know I didn't want beat, so in a sense you succumb. I think it was more then that, might have to do with bonding and personality. If you break down each child in the family you see that they all have weaknesses and strengths. Dysfunctional does not mean stupid or ignorant, abusers are often very intelligent people. The child who stands to confront it many times feels the anger and falls victim easier. I cannot actually say what went on in my fathers mind, but the truth is he never laid a hand on me and yet I have seen the monster side of him. How could he have two complete sides, did he love one child more or less? Without actually speaking to him on the subject we will never really know. But this I am sure of he saw me as fragile and weak and the words as such flowed off his tongue. So in protecting what he felt was the weak child, was keeping his dirty little secrets well hidden.
Asking parents if they felt they favored, they said overwhelming no. They felt as if they were giving recognition to the child who did his chores, gave less back talk and succeeded in one way or another. This maybe true in some families but it is obvious that favoritism does exist and can does create self doubt in young people and adults. Do we try to become over achievers to in our search for attention or it is the opposite and rebellion shows its ugly head. Psychologically it becomes a viscious cycle as those who are reward for good behavior gain a certain amount of respect and the child that might have failed once will fight their whole life to try and live down the negative labeling.
Sometimes more then enough it is interpetation of an event that leads one to believe it is favoritism when actually it is parents making decisions right or wrong for that particular time. In preventing sibling rivalry a parent must adhere to a few rules.
1. Do not compare one child to another.
2. Communication ,if a decision is made provide a clear answer to why.
3. Provide more family time
4. Look for the positive in each child.
5. Realize that all children are different and respect the difference
6. Jealousy is a natural emotion, which can be lessoned with number 2 communication
7. A parents job is to nurture.

The most important part of a childs life is the caregiver, how we respond, to both the postitive and negative in a childs life will guide them in their adult lives.

We find that sports coaches and teachers, employers and many others are accused of favoriting one person over another. Ask yourself before placing fault or condemning, does the claim have any merit.

The squeaky wheel may get the oil, but we have to becareful if we want that oil or not.

Friday, February 15, 2008

When the monster becomes human

Everyone wants answers for the rash of mass killings on innocent bystanders both in council meetings, shoppers, student and educators. Have we become a product of our enviroment? The more you look for answers the deeper you must dig into what we consider exceptable.
When I was small we use to have a saturday night tv show and it was about scary monsters, we didn't relate to the characters because they were obviously very fictional, yet frightening just the same. I would sit next to my elder brother and close my eyes and say "wake me up when its over." As a parent you have to be concerned with what your children are experiencing, the movies are no longer werewolves and frankenstein, they are realistic and as common looking as the neighbor next door. It has been explored that violence in this nature numbs a person and that they become almost immune to the visuals. Three movies over the last few years have I walked out on, all of them were because they had unecessary violent scenes which I did not care to view.
There is no doubt in my mind that we have a break down in our moral values. Vulgarity has become exceptable, violence necessary for a movie to get the ratings, sexuality and the marketing of our youth and exploitation in every form possible. Drugs prevalent and exceptable
are seen in the music industry, our schools, theater, parks.
In a small town drugs and parpha. were found in the local park, instead of removing the drug dealers they closed the park to the children and shut down summer park programs. As much as we want the government to stand up and do their part to combat drugs and violence, it our responsiblity as parents and neighbors that must look at the apples that are falling from our own trees.
It is true that we cannot go back in time and we cannot erase the present, this means we must build on the future. It is said that we are a me centered community, putting self before the needs of our children. What changes can we implement for the future, create more walls, build more security devices, home school our children, hide, pretend it will not happen to us?
There is no one answer, everyone must do their part to see changes in the future, doctors, teachers, students, parents, goverment, media, musicians, artist, theater,etc. We all must be responsible to create a change that will bring a form of peace to the world.

The war the we are losing is in the loss of our young to an ever changing world.

Monday, February 4, 2008

The Blame Game

Memories over the last thirty five years flooded heavily, so much so that I found myself for more then a brief period of time wallowing in them. What was the purpose of this review of the past and why had it over shadowed the day? I first looked at my current position in life, where I was at this very moment and then saw the effects like dominoes each vision becoming a red flag signaling a warming sign. I thought I might be ready to share my story of the prison walls, mortared with insecurities,,circumstances and the czar ruler who helped to form the barriers brick by brick. Then as I excepted my responsiblity in it all, and the choices I had personally taken, the memories began to fade. I had not given them the power to drape a new day.I have graduated from the past and I am exploring the future.

Saturday, February 2, 2008

The White Buffalo

The adage " History repeats itself" is proof of how little we advanced and how weak we are as intellectual beings. We still battle in the name of greed and ignorance. My time spent with the Native Americans brought not only inner peace, it also came with the visions that nature so instills within each of us.
The white Buffalo

One summer many moons ago, the seven sacred council fires of the Lakota Sioux came together in a great union. The sun was powerful and bright and the heat taking its toll as the people were starving for there was no game. The young tribal men went to seek food. Along the way, the hunters met a beautiful young woman dressed in white who controlled the heaves as she floated high above the clouds. One of the men was filled with lust for the woman and tried to seduce her, but as he reached out to touch her, a cloud surrounded and turned into a pile of bones. The beautiful woman spoke to the young man who remained and she said to him, "Return to your people and tell them I am coming." The powerful and magic of this beautiful woman came with a wrapped bundle to the people. The clouds lowering her she stood facing the Lakota Sioux and unwrapped the bundle giving to the sious a sacred pipe, with the pipe she taught them to pray to the gods. "With this holy pipe, you will walk like a living prayer," she said. Standing framed by the land the Sious called home she spoke to the Sioux about the value of the buffalo, the women and the children. "You are of Mother Earth," she told the women and children, "What you are doing is the work of Mother Earth herself "as she turned to walk away, she looked back upon the people told the people and she said " I will return" , she then dropped to the earth and rolled over four times with the clouds surrounding her she turned into a white female buffalo calf. From that day on the Lakota honored their pipe, and buffalo were plentiful.

To this day the Native Americans believe that the coming of the white buffalo symbolizes the coming together of humanity into a oneness of heart, mind, and spirit.

There is much to be said about becoming one with Mother Earth, the inner being guided by Mother Earth and allowing her to lead to a world of Peace. The respect that comes for the world the people and everything in it will shower us with the true gift of love and knowledge. Imagine for one moment one world, one people, working side by side to protect and further Mother Earth. It is not difficult to see how hatred flourish when one looks at the destruction of man upon man, of man upon mother earth.

We have the knowledge, but a sickness rages through
the blood of many, we cannot control or guide hate.

Strip yourself of your worldly goods and what do you find?
Walk into the sun and leave behind fear, hatred, ignorance, greed and power.The mighty skies , the stars , rivers and mountains, seas and the storms yet to come they hold the answers. We are merrily warriors of Mother Nature, battling to bring respect and peace to her inhabit the earth.