Friday, October 16, 2009

Why Stay? Time Might Not Be The Option.

It always amazes me when people place blame on the victim. Why didn't you leave? File a restraining order? Get a divorce? Leave your home? This site was created not to condone violence and surely not to place more blame on the victim. It is a very powerful negative force that works in an abusive family or relationship. The reasons behind this site are so important because those who step out are criticized. Imagine how many people live in an abusive situation that no one knows about. Upstanding communities, educated, but they hide it all very well.

This is a safe haven, no one will judge you here and if necessary will guide you in the right direction where you can find professional help . If nothing else here you will find other readers are caring and warm and will understand the pain that exist in the darkest corners of your mind.

Twenty four year old Anna Marie Lutz was murdered by her live in thirty eight year old boyfriend. You won't hear big headline stories, because she wasn't a sports player, politician or famous actor or singer. Anna Marie Lutz is one of the thousands of abuse cases that goes undetected until it results in murder. There is no excuse for such violence upon another human being, we all have the option of walking away from a domestic dispute. Anna lived twenty four short years on this earth and her time was cut short by one persons lack of self control and horrendous choice to strike out at a beautiful young woman.

How many women are caught up in domestic violence? I don't believe we will ever know the truth, for as many cases that are revealed, there are that many more that we will never find exposed. Some choose to stay out of fear, others think they can handle it, many feel there is no options or alternatives and many believe they have nowhere else to go. Pride and embarrassment as well as denial reveal itself when options are offered. To reach out in anger and hit a person you claim to love doesn't happen just once, it most likely happened before or will happen again. Anna Maire Lutz was not one of the lucky ones, she doesn't get a second chance to make a choice, to escape, to get away, to live her life.


a corgi said...

hi; thanks for visiting my blog and I'm glad you liked the music on it; one of the things I really enjoy doing is praising God

I was reading some of your journal entries; I am soo sorry the abuse you/siblings suffered when you were growing up

it always saddens me when parents treat their kids like this; the very ones who are supposed to protect abuse. I don't get it. yet I know I wasn't the best mother at times with my two.

hugs to you for caring about these children; hugs to you for being one of those children


Rachel C Miller said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Gail said...


I am so humbled by the compassionate work you are doing. A 'safe haven' is SO important to a person's ability to even begin to see they have options. I too was 'blamed' for "my part" in being abused. Insane.

"Thank you" for ALL that you do.

Love Gail

Children with out voices said...

It is ironic that People are expected to be responsible for being a victim or abused in anyway. Little to they know how manipulative abusers are. Children are the innocence of the world.Children grow up to be adults and with that comes so much more to work through.
We have taken the first steps towards healing completely. No shame, only love.
Peace to you Gail