We have one earth, one life and one day,
respect, love and nurture.......
Braking the cycle of abuse. Theoretically it is said that the abused become the next generations of abusers. So I decided to use my own family as a example. How did each of us handle our own adult lives and did we break the cycle and continue in a pattern we were pretty much accustomed to. I find looking at the extended families, that we all seem to have a trait or two. Four out of five us took to alcohol or drug abuse, three ended in abusive family situations and most of the time I found that in stressful situations, there was a lack of ability to deal with it.
My brother had everything going for him, intelligent, handsome, entrepreneur and yet his personal life he was failing. Alcohol, drugs and anger issues, took a tool on him personally. For someone who was at the top of the game, one alcohol related accident to many ,brought him crashing down. Deemed by the doctors to never walk again as he lay for over a year from the neck down in a full paralysis, his determination and struggle, helped him to gain partial use of his body, enough so that he could partially walk again. Crippled on one side, he struggled to gain some kind of life again, walking, driving, limited but with potential. Married twice, he never had children of his own and so yes there ends one cycle of abuse.
Though I do believe that society loves to place blame if we can’t fix it, blame it on childhood and back to the proverbial “apple doesn’t fall far from the tree”. I do think you can break the cycle of abuse, alter it, lesson it. Everyone of us that walk this earth has strengths and weaknesses and our families genetic codes can help find what we are predisposed to.
A friend once said that “life is filled with givers and takers” and we all fall on one side of the fence or the other.
Conclusive my response to all the hellish situations of the world are that we need to be responsible adults, setting a example for the next generation. Everyone wants to know why, why does violence occur? What is the weak thread and can we fix it?
This modern era we live in comes with its own set of problems. In the tight knit communities of days gone by and the closer extended families a block away, there was a clan like way of dealing with lifes problems. We are losing the small home town effect. Did this homey atmosphere induce, less violence? not necessarily, was there less abuse? can’t say that is so. But in a warmer setting of family helping family, neighbor helping neighbor there was a interaction that built a net to catch you and embrace to help through, those issues that will effect all of us at one time or another, death, birth, accidents, etc.
Scientist in the future will look back and say that man was evolving into a technological world and with that comes a new way of handling life. This world of technology broadens the horizon, and at the same time brings our neighbors closer. “The cup of coffee and can I borrow a cup of sugar takes on a whole new meaning.”
We are never going to create a paradise of perfection, and surely we won’t be able to cure all the ills of the world. So many cultures,with such variable views, that we wouldn't want nor expect everyone to think a like. I would hope that a broader appreciation for life, would shed the light on our vulnerabilities.
I sowed a seed into the soil,
rain, sun and love.
The key to understanding,
is the balance of the above.
Amazing are the little leaves
that appeared overnight.
But just like we, the little
plant has disease, the plight.
Warmth said the sun, water
said the rain, nurture said
the heart with a little
Sprinkle of hope and
a bit of faith, to amend
the soil and give to it
Yesterday I took a glimpse
of where the leaves first
appeared and there I
saw the signs of love
a rose, I declare!