Tuesday, September 1, 2009

What is Abuse

Abuse is a lethal combination of victim and perpetrator. Is there away of preventing ourselves from becoming a victim? As a child there are less choices and the vulnerability surrounded by circumstances are much more difficult to overcome. As adults surfacing from abusive childhoods, we must learn and reteach ourselves how to recognize and avoid abusive situations.

Avoid Isolation

Limit control by education and independence

Recognize the red flag - Extreme Jealousy is not a compliment

Constant criticism is not acceptable, avoid it

Follow your gut instinct, if it doesn't feel right! it is not right.

People don't change if you see signs of abuse it only gets worse.

Avoid situations that will put you danger, traveling alone,etc

Avoid the I'm gonna save him syndrome, let him save him or self.

If you sense danger, it's danger.

Don't provoke, do!

No to sex is your right!

Caution when entering a relationship.

National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE).

Many people want to think that all abusers are psychopaths or are born defective or in some way cynical self righteous spawns of the devil. In all reality many factors can and do contribute to abuse. In studies it is proven that much is learned in our very youth. Much can be a behavior issue which stemmed from cultural and life or lack of life experiences. Drugs, alcohol and ignorance all can play a part on what and how one deals with the world. The building up of stress in a very poor economy also reveals a rise in abuse and thus proves that many are capable of becoming an abuser on all levels.

Allowing ourself to heal and learn from the past is the best way to prevent abuse in the future. We can break the cycle when we allow ourselves to recognize the first signs of an abusive relationship. Insecurity is the first tool used by an abuser, recognize your own worth and value to your self and the community. This is your first step to avoiding the traps of an abuser.


Gail said...

Hi -

Nice to meet you and I applaud your blog and it's message. I saw you ove at C. Om's. I am a survivor of abuse at the hands of a teacher when I was eleven. My blog is about healing and truth - and more. My inner child is alive and well and now one of my greatest sources of strength.
Anyway, "thank you" for the work you are doing here.

peace and hope for us all

Children with out voices said...

Thank You Gail, I made a visit to your post to thank you. I closed this post, I said it was because it was time to move on. But the truth of it was that I was shamed into closing it. Made to feel guilty because of the sins of another. It is true we make choice and I am no different than anyone else.
When a woman, man or child for that matter say's no! We should at least be given at least the same courtesy and respect that we give strangers.
I am not ashamed and I will no close the blog down. My sister was brutally beaten by a parent who declared to love his children.

Love does not leave scars upon the flesh nor the soul.

Thank You and Peace to you as well!

Lily said...

Welcome Back,

I look forward to reading your blog again.


Children with out voices said...

After I reread your comment, I wanted to say yes you are a survivor and a lovely one at that. Your strength and courage gives a voice to the many who have not had a chance to speak.

Children with out voices said...

Thank You Lily! In a way it is not necessary easy to work through my own pain but rewarding to know that by doing so I am making a step towards removing the stigma attached to victims.

Gail said...


If you get a moment and read my post titled "James-Daniel-Jill" dated 9/4/08 you will understand my abuse history.
And "thank you" for visiting my blog. I answered you there, as well.

Peace and love