Monday, June 18, 2007

Some Say I'm a Dreamer....


A Special Thank You to Pat from Child lost for your support of children without voices. I think of the title of your post" child lost" and I believe as children many of us are lost in many ways. We were taught never to ask the Lord for anything, because he would frown down on that and that the opposite would happen, because to ask would makes up greedy children and The Lord never answered to greed. Before I would go to bed at night, I would ask the Lord for one thing , Make me strong enough that I may help myself and in return help others. For 40 yrs I repeated the same request and to this day....I say Lord help me to be strong enough that I may help myself in order that I may help others.


I never denied that the ten year old in me is alive. At ten years of age we are between a young adult and a child as we view the world through the eyes of the remaining child. Many a summer day did I stare up into the clouds and makes pictures in my mind. I could vision far away lands and this is so funny as I had never had a pizza and I can remember to this day a little boy named Danny saying what do you see in those clouds and I said a Pizza/ I had never a pizza and all the kids would go to the pizza shop to hang out. Ahhh the experiences stand out in your memory, I was seventeen yrs old when I was on my first date and I can still see the shop owner spinning the pizza in the air. Growing up in a sheltered world, but not sheltered from the hell , just from the experiences outside the world that was created for us. I walked through most of life as if tape had sealed over my mouth and voiceless I remained for many a years.

I have this special friend who stands by me in time of crisis and times when my legs are so wobbly I fear to stand up for myself. One day we are gonna drive by and stop in the field and gaze into the clouds and make pictures. That is a promise...

It is not of shame to have a weakness, for human are we and the need for interaction with others is a necessity for growth, for nothing is more of a waste then to stand still in stagnant muddy waters. Step outside and how much clearer the vision will be...years back I was on the phone having a conversation with my then confident and I said I am afraid, and the response was "welcome to the real world." Fear is a natural emotion that is placed in our survival kit, but we have to make sure that we don't under use or over use any particular emotion for that will either give us the flotation device to make it to shore or a anchor to drown in the roughest of waters.
In the clouds I see so many things......... an escape, hope, desires, dreams and much, much more.
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