Monday, June 11, 2007

When is discipline abuse?

Someone googled my blog under the words" going to bed without dinner child abuse." The responsibility of a parent is to provide shelter, food, clothing and Love and also discipline when deemed necessary. I do believe sending a child to bed without dinner is abusive. My children's father liked to punish the children when they didn't finish their chores with the statement. " Are you worthy of eating dinner" Yes they are worthy, they are worthy of love and care the day I brought them into this world. It is the responsibility of parents to provide the essential needs in life. I could not stand by and allow him to treat his own children as if they were second class citizens.
Yes children need to be given guide lines they are by all means children and we their first teachers. Teaching them responsibility, with chores that are suitable for their ages. In a larger family everyone pitches in to help a household run smoothly.
My father said " do as I say not as I do" but we know very well that children learn best from example. Preaching does very little good if the children view nothing but negativity . The first lesson to children on the word hypocrite.
a person who pretends to have virtues, moral or religious beliefs, principles, etc., that he or she does not actually possess, esp. a person whose actions belie stated beliefs.
a person who feigns some desirable or publicly approved attitude, esp. one whose private life, opinions, or statements belie his or her public statements

But isn't that how many people have been raised. They are taught in school that drugs are bad and Alcohol is a drug and yet it accepted as the societal norm. Most people indeed go through life having a social drink without problems, but so many more families are disrupted by it. I would say it destroys more families then we would like to admit.

Though many schools today are teaching "family care programs" but unfortunately no greater lesson then those from a childs own parents. I am a firm believer that if a child needs help then the family needs help. Though one can reach out to improve their life on their own, it is much
helpful that those who are involved in each situation seek to learn and improve it together. Idealist ..... maybe.

From as far back as I can remember I wanted to runaway , even as an adult I had visions of running away. Until one day I realized that no matter where you go or how far, the demons will follow. I learned to face the demons not live with them, nor allow them control over my life and yet there are days I would love to pack it up and runaway and start anew.

There are many ways to discipline children, to educate them , to get their attention. Time out, explaining the facts, even taking away a luxury... as todays children have way to many electronic toys from, cell phones, video games , tv's etc. Discipline is to draw attention to a unsatisfactory behavior, to teach the children that there are alternative behaviors.

Love and respect go hand and hand, you give it unconditionally and it returns to you ten fold.


Janet said...

I stumbled on your blog and I have found it to be a very eye opening look at child abuse. Good Work

Children with out voices said...

Just reading over comments and wanted to thank you for reading the blog and getting something out of it.