Wednesday, July 4, 2007

Look Beyond the Bars Of The Mind

What did I expect would happen if I came out with the stories from childhood? Could something be learned from it? My dearest friend said to me, that there is not a family out there that doesn't have a " skeleton in the closet." He said we all are dysfunctional at something, some of us have more resources, some more intelligence and still others more means to cope.
We are on a journey of experience, where it leads and when, is in some way in the hands of fate. Both good and bad things will happen, people close to us will die, have a car accident, have social issues, drugs, alcohol, mental health.So numerous are our experiences that it would be impossible to list them for every bad one we could list a good one , a child is born , a couple becomes married, a teenager starts their journey and the list goes on.
On this journey we know but one thing, we are born to experience and as we continue on the journey we will build a library of knowledge for the next generation. If we fail to share in this knowledge, then the answers will go unheard and again people will continue to point fingers and blame rather then seek the alternative behavior.
My intent was never on a path of revenge or to place blame. No one is ever sure how they would respond to another crisis, because no matter how similar every situation is , each is just a little bit different. Then how do we learn? We learn that there is opportunity, outreach and self responsibility and most of all we remember that no one is capable of holding the spirit down, for we are free to change the path and to build a better future.
If it were all so black and white, everyone would look the same, react the same and character would no longer exist. But we are different, our thoughts different, our response different with the thread of humanity tying us together. Some of us more emotional others less. Find your strength and build on it, for each of us is just that filled weaknesses and strengths.
I read this article where researchers have found they can use drugs to wipe away single, specific memories while leaving other
memories intact. By injecting an amnesia drug at the right time, when a subject was recalling a particular thought, neuro-scientists discovered they could disrupt the way the memory is stored and even make it disappear.
I thought what one memory would I want to erase, I couldn't think of one. The worst thing that could happen to a person is to forget a pain physical or emotional. It made me laugh as I remember my first gall bladder attack, rolling around in pain. I quickly learned what not to eat so not to have it reoccur. If we removed memories would we remove the self discipline that comes with memories. My mind was bouncing around as I thought of soldiers and the memories from war that haunted them, yet still I think to forget erases our response to find the answers.
We should forget what our individual hell is , maybe we should try to prevent or learn to deal with it.
I have a few dreams that are recurrent, one is this little girl in a aged old train station, I see her behind the barred windows, I want to let her free. I try to get close to her and the closer I get the quicker she fades away. When I peer into the window, I see a little girls bedroom, perfect and orderly, nothing out of place. Each time I have the dream it happens exactly the same way.When I moved from the city to the rural area, I felt again a closeness to her, like the building now had a location, I looked out where a old foundation had once stood and I could visualize her standing their behind the bars of the window. I have had the same dream since I can remember.

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